my head is just spinning

As I sit here today still again waiting on news that maybe my brother has had some luck at all with my dad I still can't believe that he is gone. I cant believe that he took his own life. I am so fucken pissed off that marie is the one who gets the final say on what happens to my dad. If he did leave a suiside note leaving his children to decide what to do then why do we need her ok. her dumb ass family isnt even willing to tell her that he killed himself. I wonder that when they do are they going to own up to the fact that they helped driving him to the point of no return? do they even realized what they did? But her dad still has no trouble talking shit to my brother and my uncle saying how worthless he is. Well guess what assholes you guys made him that way. my dad was getting along just fine until he met Marie had a good job and had it for over 20 years. had a nice car that he loved and your dumb bitch had to come into his life and took him away from everything. What is that your goal in life is to see how many people you can destroy!

I pray that god has mercy on your soul your going to need it. I can't believe that you people can be so cold hearted. Do you people even realize that he has a large family that loves him and wanted nothing more than for him to come back to california with us. his mother, brothers, sisters, son,daughters and his grandchildren and his great granddaughter that he will never get to meet now. thanks allot for ruining our lives. I hope your happy for what you have done to my family!!! you people make me SICK!!!!

I will over come the lost of my dad and so will the rest of my family. you may have ruined my dad but you will not ruin the rest of us. God will get us through this and we will become stronger and wiser for this and while the pain of my dad will forever live in us the hurt will subside where we are able to cope with this everyday that we still roam this earth. His memory will live on in us forever.

I love you dad and I am so sorry things ended this way but please dad there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of you or have you in my heart I LOVE YOU DAD. I always have and I always will. XOXOXOXOXO